Amsterdam is a compact city, and the women on our body to body roster live in it. They buy groceries in De Pijp, cycle through Jordaan and meet friends for coffee near Leidseplein, like anyone else who calls the place home. So sooner or later a guest who stays a week, or who lives here, writes to ask something slightly awkward: what should I do if I see her in the street? The question is reasonable, and the reply fits in three words. Let her lead.
The one rule: she decides whether you have met
If you recognise a woman from the wall in a café, in a supermarket queue or at a crossing on her bike, do nothing unless she does something first. Do not approach, do not say her name, do not wave across the room. She may be with friends, family or a partner, and her life away from the portraits is entirely her own. If she catches your eye and nods, nod back and carry on with your day. If she does not, assume she did not see you, and let that be the end of it.
This can feel cold to guests who enjoyed a warm evening in her company. It is not coldness at all. It is the same courtesy you would want if you were standing beside a colleague.
Discretion runs in both directions
The rule protects you as much as it protects her. If a woman from the roster spots you at dinner with your team, or walking with someone close to you, she will not greet you, mention a hotel or give any sign that you have met. Guests sometimes worry about exactly this before booking, and the reply is the same from either side of the table: what happens in the room is never referred to outside it.
The same holds in hotel bars and lobbies. If you happen to be downstairs with friends when a woman from the wall walks through on her way to another guest, she is working, and a glance of recognition could cost that other guest his privacy. Look at your drink rather than at her.
What not to do afterwards
A few things cross the line even when meant kindly. Do not follow her, photograph her or try to open a conversation about the booking. Do not write in the thread to say where you saw her and when, since that puts a private moment of hers on record. And please do not ask us where any woman lives. The home district printed on each card exists to estimate travel time; it names a neighbourhood of many thousands of people rather than an address, and it is the only location detail we share.
The same applies online. Portraits of the fifteen appear on our own pages, as our account of how the photographs are made explains, and searching for a woman's personal accounts elsewhere is a step no guest should take.
Body to body Amsterdam for residents: choosing with geography in mind
Visitors are unlikely ever to face this situation. Residents are far more likely to, and a few of them prefer to reduce the chance from the outset. If that sounds like you, read the home district on the card the other way round. Someone living in Jordaan might look beyond Danielle and Lea, who both start from there; a resident of De Pijp might choose someone other than Angelika or Luna; a guest in Oud-Zuid could pass over Cindy and Nora. None of this is necessary, but it is a quiet way to keep two parts of life apart. Our page on bookings at your own address covers the rest of what residents ask.
If she does say hello
Now and then a woman will say hello, perhaps because the setting is relaxed and she has decided it is fine. Keep it light and public: a greeting, a remark about the weather or the length of the queue, nothing about the evening you shared. Keep it short as well; a minute is plenty, and she is the one who ends it. Do not ask to book there and then, and do not suggest meeting outside the thread. Every booking, including one with a woman you have just bumped into, goes through WhatsApp in the usual way, and she will appreciate that you remembered.
Why this matters to the roster
A roster of fifteen stays stable because the women can lead ordinary lives in the city where they work. Each small act of discretion by a guest is part of what keeps the same frames on our wall season after season, which in turn is what lets you book the woman you liked last time. The guide to etiquette and hygiene sets out the courtesies inside the room; this has been the one that applies beyond it.
When you would like to see her again, find her frame on the portrait wall and send her name in the thread. The rate stays €180 an hour, a central address is forty to sixty minutes away for her once confirmed, and guests have to be 21 or over.